I HAVE A YOUTUBE CHANNEL: THE QUEEN OF MY CASTLE

I just wanted to announce that I will be posting videos on my youtube channel, The Queen of My Castle. I am not looking to do anything super big, it's just something I feel I want to do to help me with my speech with my new smile.

The year 2020 was a struggle for a lot of people (as well as me), but it also was an opportunity to restore my smile and the courage to begin to let my little light shine.

I won't go into details here, but, here is a link to my channel so you can go check it out. All 3 of them are there. Vlog 1 is right before, Vlog 2 is first after, and the last vlog is just a little test I was doing on my way to work recently. I am working on speaking to a camera. But, I am determined to do this!

 The Queen of My Castle

Update for 2015

Just wanted to post here that I am currently working on fresh content, and I am going to try to come up with a posting schedule. I have recently become a planner nerd, so, a lot of my posts will probably center around that so I am not over sharing.

Please stay tuned and hopefully over the course of the next few days, I will have more content to post. Any ideas for possible posts, feel free to comment or email me at wvcatlady74@gmail.com.

Let The Blogging Begin...

I have been wanting to blog regularly for a long time, there just never seemed to be enough time to sit in front of the computer and type it out. I have Blogger on my mobile phone, but just never decided to actually record any part of my life. It's not that I didn't think my life was important enough to share, it was just laziness I guess. So, starting today, I plan on making regularly a part of my day. Not sure when...maybe at night right before I go to work, I don't know. Maybe in the morning, who knows, but I will try to fit it in daily, or maybe twice a week so that more of my life and my family life is out there. So, here goes.

Silliness!

I'm Back!

Wow! I know I haven't been on in a long time...um, 7 months I think, but that is because I have just been lazy. I want to blog. I want to write because for a while I was on facebook all the time, but I just get lazy because I want to write about it all and post pictures and it just seems like it takes so much time!

Anyways, Shawn and I are in our next to last semesters of college (hopefully) and I will be so glad when that chapter of life is over! It is so tiring doing endless amounts of homework...Algebra takes freekin hours...but we are working through it and right now just wanting it over with.

We are also thinking about selling the house and moving. I want out of the town away from the kids here. I don't like the kids that live around here and their influence on my girl. I want my boy to get out and be a boy. So that is something we are looking into...soon, very soon.

Shawn got back in touch with his father over the summer too. I thought that was great...he needs to have a relationship with his dad, I think it will help with how he interacts with his own son.

I was also reunited with my brother, and got to go to his long overdue wedding!

So it has been an interesting year so far and I am trying to sum it all up but I will post more about it if I think about it. I will try to blog more regular...I had thought about having a theme to give me ideas to blog about. We will see, but I am glad I took the time to do this and at least get this started back up. Will post again soon!!

Behind the Photos

I decided to start my New Year off doing something I had been wanting to do for quite some time, just never got around to it.

I decided to scan some old pictures, and post them on my Facebook timeline.

I also decided to take the time to start telling bits of my story.

I met my first husband when my mom and I moved from our little Gapland, MD home in the spring of 1992 to a little efficiency apartment on John Street where he lived in front with his sister, her boyfriend and two sons.

I was going to classes to get my GED, and received my diploma in June 1992.

We began "dating" on July 5, 1992 after he came home from a 4th of July party his sister through at the house they moved to. At that time, we had moved from the efficiency to his old place.

I moved in with him not long after we started "going together", as it was called in the early 90's. We lived there maybe a few months, long enough for the red flags to pop up and me be too dumb to see them. Like the night he was laying on the couch and pretended (I guess) to turn into a demon and made me make promises to him, and honestly can't remember what it was, but I remember being freaked out. I should have left right then and there, but thought it was normal. After all, I had been in churches and saw preachers rebuke demons, for gosh sakes.

He once asked me what I'd do if he was at work and I wanted sex...I told him I'd wait until he got home. I thought that was a fair enough answer, but, obviously he didn't. I don't know how long it took me to convince him I wouldn't screw around on him....I should have told him to buy me a vibrator and he wouldn't have any worries, lol.

So, after that, we ended up moving back in with mom because he lost his job. Blamed having to stay home and take care of me although thinking now he just didn't want to go to work. I got pregnant the first time shortly after, and miscarried (even though the hospital ER doc swore I wasn't), not long after that, in early fall, I got pregnant with Stephanie. Will be one of my most memorable pregnancies...

We got into a fight one night, I think it was him accusing me of getting pregnant by my stepdad...we fought and he ran out of the house and up the stree, and once again, like a stupid fool, I followed, begging for him to come back because of the baby. I cried and cried, it was raining and I followed him up john Street to Winchester Avenue past Firestone and the Paint store and the automotive parts store, just bawling my eyes out. We got to his cousins house where of course, there was a party going full blast.

On arriving, his one sister snatched me up (in the gentle way, she knew I was pregnant) and was telling me how she couldn't go with out smoking weed while she was pregnant...it got her through the pregnancy. So, he goes off doing whatever and they are partying and including us in conversation and our previous fight kinda died right there. I remember getting back home the next morning and mom being worried out of her mind, after all, there were no cell phones back in 1992, at least not that we had.

So, before I go on, here are some early pictures with a brief story behind..



This picture to my left was taken during our stay at Rob's mom's house. I think I had already had Stephanie in this picture because the tag on moms car reads 1994. This is one of the few pictures taken of me during that time. No, I wasn't camera shy, there just weren't many happy moments to capture.




This next piture below to your left is the only clear picture of Stephanie that I have, and, unfortunately, includes Rob (sorry). If you notice there are 2 couches in the background; the one Rob is holding Stephanie posing her for the picture, and one to the left..that was my "bed" (couch). Yes, his mom obviously knew we slept together (hense, Stephanie), but we still had to sleep separate because we were not married. Hmm. A LOT happened during our stay in that room, not that I want to go there.

This room was our haven during my last couple of months after my mom and her boyfriend had their fight at the house on Burke Street hill. That was a place to remember. We lived there when Bill Clinton was inauguerated into office during the beginning of 1993...yeah I know that because I remember watching it. That is when I watched Rush Limbaugh...but not much else other than maybe soaps.
I watched a lot of TV at his moms house. She always had The Price is Right on or The Three Stooges. I watched them a lot. Now I hate watching TPIR, and the Stooges arent even in syndication anymore unless its a channel we dont watch.

I remember Mother's Day in 1993 because his sister and cousin and a few other of their friends were going swimming down at Blue Hole (a creek on the outskirts of town somewhere). I was about 6 months pregnant and his sister (bless her heart, I know she meant well), gave me a 2 piece bikini outfit to wear in the water. Can you image me with a belly wearing that? I did and I stretched that bad boy! No, no picture. Sorry. I wish I had the picture of me while I was pregnant with Stephie...I was standing at my usual seat at the kitchen table and whoever took the picture got a GOOD profile of my bod. I remember wearing this purple short sleeve polo..wish I still had that shirt....anyways.

I wear the swimsuit and we go, I get in the water and am having fun, but keeping an eye on him because I was afraid he was sneaking and smoking...silly me. So, we get back and getting unloaded and he realizes he lost his cigarettes...so he argues with me telling me I lost them...a family friend actually had to step in and back him away from me because he was getting out of hand. she ended up going in and telling his sister who was inside her apartment, and she told him he had to find someplace else to spend the night. I was welcome, but he wasn't. So his bff took him back to his moms for the night.

I did not want to stay there with him not there...you know, just couldn't function without him...(shaking my head) I remembered the Mother's Day card we bought his mom and decided to take it to him for her...yeah, I walked late at night, clear across town from Addition Street which is one street in front of the old Martins, clear on the other side of town...maybe 10 blocks, I don't know. No, I didn't care that someone might snatch me, or was I afraid of the boogieman...no. I had walked those streets enough to know what I was doing, and that is what I did.

I got there, he let me in, I gave him the card and he asked his moms boyfriend if i could stay the night instead of treaking 10 blocks back and he said yes. That is how we ended up 'living' there.

What Do You Do?

I feel as if I am at my wits end.  Just when I think I am making some progress, something happens and just blows everything sky high.

I have been feeling overly stressed because I don't feel I am doing well in school. I haven't yet been able to come up with a routine to get school work and housework done, and have any time to relax. So frustrated, I'm so ready to pull my hair out.

I stress over the details like how to organize my school work and keep notes and I can't make up my mind about anything.

Shawn told me the other day when we decided to go pay off my curio cabinet at Schewels that he didn't understand why I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything.  He's been wanting to go to Furnish 123 to pick out a new kitchen table and chair set, but I keep putting it off.

He doesn't understand that doing these things takes time and time I don't really have.  Doing 1 homework assignment for Algebra seems to take me 3 hours because it's so confusing, and that doesn't leave time for any of my other assignments, or my business for that matter. 

Then, there is housework.  There's dinner.  Don't forget we need a social life...where does it all fit in, especially when you work at night when everyone else is sleeping and YOU sleep when everyone else is awake?

We have talked about dropping down to 4 days a week, so we have that extra day.  It would work, but we have to have things assigned to certain days so that we get stuff done or it will just be another day off. 

So right now, I'm sitting here trying to get the laundry caught up, Hannah made tomato soup for dinner, and I'm saying everything else will just have to wait.  I have to finish up the dishes but sometimes you just have to pick and chose.  My goal is to have the dishes done, and the laundry in progress. 

I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just wish it was closer...

My two girls

Mobile Blogging...

I'm trying my hand at blogging from my phone, instead of having to rely on making time to blog on my pc.  Since starting school, my time on my pc is pretty much homework, and household paperwork, so when I want to post a message, I can now post anywhere, anytime, as long as I have my phone.

Feel free to start your own blog @ http://www.blogspot.com/, and leave me a message here and we can link up!

Playing Catchup...Working on New Routines for Fall

Wow, summer is almost over and in a way it seems like it just flew by!

So much has happened in the past few weeks and I'm slowly starting to slow down and just enjoy my time and my life and not wish away my days.  It's amazing how being in certain situations make you just sit back and realize how enjoyable they can be.

I started the summer waiting for my 10 day vacation from work in early July, because I was looking forward to the possibility of a new career. One where I thought I could slow down and catch my breath.  Well, God had other plans, and I'm glad he did!  Right after I contacted the company I was interviewing to work for, the school I was planning on attending, at some point, called to check on my admission!!  It was God, that is all there is to it. The door closed on the employment opportunity, but he opened the door for me to go back to school, how awesome is that?!!

So, that has kept me going, getting my kids ready for going back to school is keeping me going, work is, well, still there, but I am learning to leave it in God's hands. I'm excited that I'm going back to school and I will be able to focus more on whats important and hope to keep distractions at bay, lol.

Work on my book is slow, but I plan on making time for that in between school work and family time.  After today, I really need to get it done and am feeling really strong urges.  Today my oldest daughter Stephanie turned 17 years old and I guess I thought about it all for too long and it had me beside myself. I'm not allowing myself to feel or deal with the hurt and it is causing me to be an emotional wreck. I know I need to get it out and deal with my feelings but I have to also focus on whats right for my youngest two and whats fair to my hubby. So I keep myself distracted by housework, and anything that keeps me from thinking.

This fall, I hope for things to be different, and I plan on prioritizing my time and doing what counts. I have realized that you only live once and when you have lived with what I have lived with, and all the loss, you learn to enjoy what you get and not let go.

I'd like to do a lot of things but I want to do what is most meaningful and what will do the most good.

So while I am still working on what I'm doing, I will keep you posted.  I will try to log again before I start school this fall.

Blessings!
Charity

This is going to be a short post, but, I wanted to show my presence, since I haven't blogged in months, how sad huh?

A lot has been going on. I am thinking about a lot of things, like, I am slowly working on my book (I am having constant writers block), taking care of the house, and balance wanting to get reaquainted with my father's side of the family. Up until now, it was an 'ok, I will do this...someday.' What is 'someday'? I don't know but I don't want to find out either.

My uncle, my father's younger brother, passed away. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing because I have relatives that I don't know about and I honestly guess I could just go about my life and if I get in touch with people, fine. Or...I could do something different for a change and get in touch with those relatives that I have and don't know about. Staying to myself would be easier. I could just not do anything and nothing would change. Or I could call my aunt and try and catch up with her and get myself one step closer to going to visit her. I might learn some more about my family, we will see.

Well, I think I have to seperate our feline children...until later...

Making Some Changes...slowly...

I hope you have noticed some of the changes I have made to my blog. I know it has been a while since I posted, but things have been busy around here in the household, and with me. I had been meaning to post several times, and have had A LOT of opportunities, but I guess I was just too lazy, lol. Well, in the midst of all that, I had been thinking about giving my blog a makeover and update the look. I honestly thought the old layout was too dark, and somewhat hard to read. So, after trying out several layouts, I decided to stick with this one.

You might also noticed, I updated the 'description', because it better and, more acurately describes this blog. I have searched all over the net to find other mom blogs that are 'real', which is what I am after, just to get a feel of what I might like for this one. My purpose for this blog, especially for those who know the family personally, is for you to be able to experience our life with us...for real. When you read my blog, I want you to feel almost like you are right there. That is why I said that we are real. No pictures of decorative couches, or fancy walls, or anything like that. I want to share the real stuff.

I also added the mobile blogger, so that I don't have to be at my computer (Shawn's going to laugh at this one if he reads this...) all the time. I spend more time here than I should, but I want to record all the good stuff to share with everyone. This will not only get me away from the computer more (ha,ha!) BUT, I will be able to enjoy the experience more myself.

Anywhoo... on to updating life around the house...

...we are still dealing with the snow. Thankfully, we can go to work now, but there is still the little issue of school. The last I heard Berkeley County is on a 2 hour delay...I love my kids, but, I think they are ready to go back to school. The endless fighting tells me they have been away TOO long!

Anyhow, I have to go so that I can get more coffee, and decide what I am going to do to keep myself awake until 8:00 tonight (when the kids go to bed)...I kinda fell asleep earlier on the couch for about an hour, but I'm going to still need something to keep the eyes open (which is why I read blogs a lot, so unlike reading books)...

Bye for now!

January 4

January 4 marked what would have been, my older son Brandon's 11th birthday (January 4, 1999). Without going into a bunch of details, I had very life threatening complications that forced me to give birth at 24 weeks pregnant. I had been diagnosed with partial placenta previa (follow the link for more information) Placenta previa

I carried him for about a month before I was finally hospitalized on New Years Eve and spent the first few days of 1999 in Morgantown, laying in a hospital bed because the doctors told me he wouldn't survive and gave me two choices. Have him and live, or carry him and stay in the hospital until I did. Apparently I hemorraged so much that the final blood test they did at City came back abnormal and they felt I could be better cared for in Morgantown.

I lay in the hospital bed bringing in the New Year and after RW arrived, we waited. Finally on the 4th I told the doctor ok, because I knew I'd done what I could do. So they induced labor and he was born. He died 30 minutes later in my arms. I won't get any more detailed than that right now, but for those who have only known me a short time, that is the sad part of that day.

A year later on January 4, 2000 is the day I left my abusive first marriage with Shawn's support. I left after a confrontation and went to his house, where Rob was then arrested. Shawn and I have been together ever since.

There is more that I'm going to be saying, I just chose not to go into much detail here for personal reasons. You are more than welcome to email me and ask, but otherwise I just wanted to kinda give you an idea of how bittersweet that day is.

Welcoming 2010: New Year, New Start

I spent the beginning of the new year quietly, sitting watching TV, my kids and hubby asleep. He had poured us each the remainder of the rum/coke and he sat down on the couch to relax listening to his headphones, and he was out.I was busy texting. I was texting my friend and my brother at the same time. While trying to drink my rum and coke. I eventually just ended up texting my friend Mona off and on until the ball dropped, while channel surfing. That is how I brought in 2010. No parties, no racket, no drama...ahhh!

I have been thinking about what I want to accomplish this year. No, I don't make "resolutions", I think that is just a waste. But I have been thinking about what I want to do and get done and thought I'd share it with you:

First, and foremost, is creating a simpler life. I'm tired of wasting my life constantly looking for solutions and collecting things thinking that will solve my problem. Well it hasn't, so it ends.

The second thing I am actively working on, although not "full time", is my memoir. Some of you guys may be surprised that I would be writing a book, well, unless you have known me for more than 5 years, you really wouldn't understand the reason why. This is something that has been on my heart for the past 10 years, and as much as there have been times where I have said to myself that "what is the point?", there is a point. I didn't go through everything I did to just forget everything, forget everyone and pretend that the first 25 years of my life never happened. So, I'm putting it all on paper, and putting it all out there. If nothing else, it will be a way for me to give back and help someone else heal and understand.

Lastly, I have a book collection that is majorly growing and I need to reduce. I'm sure that along the year, I will discover other things that I will add, but, simplifying my life, working on my book, reading and spending as much time with my family and friends and scrapbooking are tops on my list right now.

And it all starts tomorrow...

I Hate Weekends

Today we were suppose to go back to church. After all, it is sunday, and we'd missed the past two weeks because of the weather. We didn't go though. Shawn wasn't feeling well, and I was too tired from all the lifting last night, so we stayed home.

I went to bed at my normal 9am, after eating a bowl of cereal (a hot breakfast this morning was NOT on the menu, lol), and went to bed. Shawn came and got me up so that he could go to bed at 4pm, after the game went off. I was still tired, I guess from sleeping longer than I normally do, I don't know, my body just hurt.

Came downstairs and the kids were watching TV and I walked into the kitchen (I still had my pj's on, didn't bother getting dressed) and there were dishes in the sink, so I'm guessing Shawn didn't feel like doing anymore that I felt like doing. He was starting to feel bad last night at work (which is why we didn't make it to church).

I needed to make a pot of coffee...ugh, it was not going to be a good afternoon. Got coffee started, and preheated the oven for dinner...fish tacos. So after all that was done, in between the kids arguing over the TV and playing the Wii, I sat down. I have learned that if I want to stay awake, I stay away from the couch. So I sat down and checked my email real quick, and went to facebook for a minute while waiting for the oven to beep.

Long story short, I did manage to get some laundry folded, dinner made, dishes done...and that is about it. I already feel whooped again and I have 30 minutes until I have to get Shawn up for work. This reminds me that I hate weekends. Sleep is just all over the place. I feel just as tired when I wake up as I do when I lay down! Ugh, what's with that??

On top of that, Shawn and I get to start working out on my Wii Fitness Plus. Oh, Lord! I bet that will be a sight, if we make it...I don't want to even think about that right now. Ok, I need to sign off now and go get some ibuprofen...I can feel a headache coming on...

Back in the Office...Again

I'm sure you remember my post last week when I told you about getting coached because I went over my time limit for my department. Well, I ended up back in the office again Monday night, and received a 'D' day, aka Decision Making Day (is the next step in the discipline policy which is where they give you a paid day off for you to 'think' about what you did, why you did it, and what corrective action you will take. You are then asked to write a statement to that effect.) and it was all over 1 minute of overtime! One minute! I was shocked in a way, but just agrivated because this was the second time in two weeks that I ended up in the office because I did something 'wrong'. Apparently the store manager told them that this is what needed to be done, there is to be NO OVERTIME...

See, I had checked my hours during the middle of the week and noticed that I had 9 minutes to kill, so I told my supervisor, and he told me to just take an extra 9 minutes of lunch. So, I did. Well, then, Friday came and without thinking, I clocked in a few minutes early and didn't make it to the timeclock in time, but didn't realize it until when they pulled me into the office.

I know I am not the only one that this has happened to. I know that several people have been written up, while others like myself, got a D day. They strongly encouraged me to use the Open Door Policy (our right to talk to a member of management, usually store manager or higher)to have it reversed.

So, when I got home from work, I told Shawn and if you know Shawn very well, I'm sure you can imagine how upset he was, and he even suggested to call home office. I took the kids to school, and went straight back out to the store and spoke with the store manager and explained the her what was going on, and she said she could not reverse it because then she'd have to reverse it for everybody. She said it came from her boss that there is no overtime. Not satistfied with this answer, I got the District Managers phone number and called him, and spoke with his secretary who told me she was going to put me in touch with Pat, the human resources manager.
Heard nothing from anyone all day, and finally Tuesday morning she calls and leaves a message. BTW, I ended up with 27 minutes to kill from my talk with Kim...

Long story short, I am waiting on a call back from Pat, and half wishing it all would end. So many changes, so many wrong changes..


Edited to add: I just received a call this morning from one of my supervisors who told me that the store manager took away all the write ups for overtime this morning. I don't know why, but I'm thanking God she did.

My 'Nights' in Hell May Be Numbered...

I couldn't think of another title to more accurately discribe my situation and be nice. After last night, the company that I have worked for, for the past 13 1/2 years, can go fly a kite.

I have been bounced around in different departments of the store, depending on who our manager is on any given night. I was originally in Apparel, but was moved from Apparel to various GM departments, and finially over the last 6 months I have been bounced between working Chemicals (the dept with the bleach, laundry detergent, cleaning products) to different grocery isles.

As many of you know from hearing from us in person, floor associates now have a time limit. We are given so many hours in order to get the freight worked in the department we are working, so that we can move on to the next department and do the same. Most departments are given an average of 3-4 hours, depending apon how much freight they get.

On an average night, in most cases, I work Chemicals. I get freight from the GM (general merchandise side), and I get a skid from the grocery truck with bleach and laundry detergent that is what we call an 8 footer because I would have to get a ladder to get the little boxes off the top and work the skid. So, between each receiving area, I average 3-4 skids a night.

According to the Task Manager, for that department, it should only take me 3-4 hours to get all those skids done. This is not counting having any interruptions, moving stuff, zoning, helping customers because even at 1am, people still shop...doesn't matter.

In last nights meeting, while running down the little Task Manager line up they give us as to who goes where, I was assigned Chemicals as usual, and told that I had to be done by 4am. We were also told that if we weren't done, we'd be making a trip back to the office.

We leave the meeting and I go get my garbage bag and go hunt for a pallet jack (I've found I get done faster pulling the skid into the isle and working the freight that way), found the jack, and went to look for a cart to put my cardboard on. Well, what do you know, the few they had empty were being used by IMS to put the picks on.

Ok, I will just have to take my trash back after I complete a skid, and then I thought about it, and decided to jus tget the first two skids done and do trash then as not to waste time at the baler (because making a bale doesn't count either) so if I go back and there is a line that is taking from my stocking time. If I help make a bale, the clock still ticks.

So, I go through my skids and the managers come by and the one says (and this is at like 12:30, not long after 1st break, "are you done yet??" I had 4 skids total: I had the three GM skids, plus the 8 footer and was only finishing up the 1st one.

Cart party time rolled around. For those of you that don't know, every night at 1:45, all the overnight stockers get to go out and collect all the carts in the parking lot, which is why it is called a 'Cart Party'. That takes a good 15 minutes, and then it is time for lunch. I went to lunch last night at 2, so the minute I came in from the cart party, Shawn was looking for me to go to lunch.

Got back from lunch at 3, and continued my work, with only an hour to go. I still didn't take cardboard back because I didn't want to waste time. I was working on the last GM skid that I had and had the 8 footer to go when my manger came by and said 'you're not done yet?', I said 'no', and we talked for a minute and I told her I wasn't killing myself to try and get the freight done. I said I can only go as fast as I can and said I guess I'll be making a trip back to the office like our other manager said. I told her its's not that I don't care, but, I'm not going to try and work unrealistic time conditions. She said she understood and went on.

Shortly after that, one of our support managers came out and got me and it was my turn to go to the office. She said, 'you know why you're back here, right?' I said no, and she had the screen pulled up and showed me what she had been talking about with the times. I apparently had only 292 cases, so, it should only have taken me 4 hours (minus my lunch) to get the 4 skids done. That is 60 cases an hour, and looking at it by skid, that would mean an hour for each skid--including the 8 foot skid that could pass as 2 skids itself.

So, I was coached for not getting my job quick enough and placing more of a burden on the other associates by not getting my area done so that I could go on to other departments and work. I was told that by me taking longer than I should, I forced the other associates to have to work harder to get more departments done, because, apparently, their expectation is that all freight needs to get worked by 7am. We have an average of a dozen associates, no more than around 20 people to work each of the grocery isles, HBA, Chemicals, Pets, Infants, and Paper. I was told there are associates who work many departments a night and that it was unfair for me to take longer to get my department done.

At this point, I wrote my comment, asked to have a copy for my records as to what I said, then went back out to finish my skids. I was almost done the last one when Shawn came by and got me for break around 5:30. Came back out and finished that skid and started the 8 footer when Shawn came by and said he asked the other manager if he could give me a hand since there was coverage up front, so, he helped me get the giant skid done, and helped me take back my buckload of cardboard and trash. I pulled back my skid of overstock, did my dozen boxes of picks (they don't count either), and cleaned up just as 7am was rolling around.

I have since decided I don't care anymore. Tonight will probably be my last night because once you get coached, it stays on your record for a year and the next step is a 'D' day, or a decision making day which is your paid day to decide if you want to continue to work there, and if they want to continue to employ you. So, I guess tonight will tell the tale, but I have decided that if I get called back to the office for a 'd' day, I'm going to give them my badge and be done. I'm not letting them fire me over something stupid. Not when they can put me somewhere else and I can work there just as well.

So, not only is this my 'Friday night', it might be my last night working for Walmart...will let you know tomorrow.

Anyways, hope everyone has a nice evening, and I'm going to get some coffee and work on dinner... night all.

Is It Just Me??

I have been in an irritated mood all morning, and I think it's because I have had stuff build up over the past few weeks.

It drives me nuts when someone else (Shawn included...ask him, he will tell you) does my laundry or my dishes. We have things arranged in the kitchen a certain way and when someone else comes in and does dishes and puts them away where ever, it takes extra time to put everything back (once I find it) and creates unnecessary stress...

As much as I appreciate my MIL helping when she came to watch the kids Thanksgiving week so I could take Shawn to his appointment at Shepherd, while she was there, she did the dishes...and got bored and started doing my laundry. Like I said, I appreciate the thought, but had no idea that she was going to do this, so imagine the look on my face when we got home and she was folding laundry in the LR while the kids were watching TV. I knew it was going to take me several days to get it all sorted out because we had other stuff going on a the same time, and I did not have time to go back through and re organize everything. But I didn't say anything because she was helping....

I have just started getting things put away because I just left everything there temperarily until I had a moment to deal with it... she did explain to me how she had things arranged...ok, that's cool, but of course I forgot not long after because I was really tired.

It didn't take long to get the dishes back in order because we use everything all the time, but it was just unnecessary.

I started working on the laundry the rest of that weekend, but just couldn't motivate myself to put it away, so until this morning when Shawn was reorganizing the kitchen, I went in and grabbed the hanging laundry and started to put it away.

I sometimes thing that there is just something wrong with me because I will get upset with Shawn when he does dishes because he splashes water everywhere when he's doing them, and then water gets all over the floor (and generally the floor is still dirty and needs to be swept and mopped, so that means that there is MORE mess to clean, and with us walking in it)... I appreciate him wanting to help, but some things I think are best left for me to take care of.

I think that I'm irritated because he wants to have a hand in everything and some things he should just leave alone. Like, it worked well when he was letting me sweep because I could see the dirt and mess, and he would mop the floor.

I love when he cooks, because he does an awesome job...but the cleanup is a nightmare! I don't feel like there is a win-win!

It's utter chaos when there is no routine, and no system.

We went and got groceries earlier today and I was iritated because somewhere along the line, I lost my grocery list, and without the list, I felt grocery shopping was in vain because we'd just be winging it. We did, but I am hoping that I didn't miss anything we really needed. I have found that when I stick to a grocery list, we spend less and don't get things we don't need. Happens all the time.

I know things will eventually get worked out, but, it is very frustrating in the meantime.

My Birthday Weekend and Thanksgiving Recap

Ok, maybe I will get to actually finish this post! Just technical difficulties and sometimes bad timing, but, here I am, at last!

We celebrated my 35th birthday last Friday at the Peking Restraunt, which used to be our weekly dinner 'date' with our friends (and Shawn's cousin) Angie and Chris. This week, my cousin Jenny joined us, and we had quite an evening.

We started the day off dropping the kids off at school and going to see New Moon, which started showing that morning. We left there and did some shopping before it was time to pick up the kids from school and then went to the Peking. I ended up having my Cosmopolitan and they brought me out a Sweet Tart shot, and sang Happy Birthday to me.

Afterward, Jenny gave me and the kids a ride home (we walked, which is a rule so I can have a drink if I choose), and Shawn rode over with Chris and Angie. We got back to the house and Jenny and I started talking about everything, and Shawn, Chris and Angie arrived right after. The guys stayed in the livingroom playing games once the kids went to bed, and us girls stayed in the kitchen and talked. It turned out to be quite an evening, one that I will remember for years to come!

The rest of the weekend, we basically stayed home and relaxed. Went to church Sunday morning, which we have been attending regularly for the past few weeks. It has been awesome, to say the least!

The kids went back to school Monday and Tuesday and Wedensday began their Thanksgiving Break. We spent Thanksgiving at Angie and Chris's and my in laws and Angie's dad were there as well.

I have truly enjoyed the last several weeks, and I am slowly learning to set my priorities and enjoy life to the fullest. I was telling one of my best friends that I am working on my book. I have been wanting to write this book for the past 10 years and just never did it. I guess it was a combination of fear of the bad memories, and the passage of time. In any case, I will get the book written, one chapter at a time.

I am also going to get going on decorating the house. We have lived here for over 2 years and have no pictures on the wall. I hope to soon change that.

I have realized that life is too short not to enjoy it and to make the best of it. That is why I am reaching out and getting in touch with fellow family members so that we can get reaquainted.

So, for now, I am enjoying life, enjoying my children, husband, and the rest of my family and being thankful everyday for all the blessings I have recieved.

Quick Update

I just wanted to update everyone. I'm going to post how the weekend went, but, not tonight. My hubby wants me to lay down with him and watch Law and Order, so, hopefully tomorrow night since we're off, I will post an update.

I will be taking Thursday off, as, we are spending the most of the day at my cousin in laws house. I might write a quick post that morning, but am not going to make any guarantees.

Since I have Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday off (yay!!), maybe after the excitement of the holiday is over, I'll have the opportunity to sit and write...we'll see. Until then, I will sign off so I can join my hubby and cuddle ;)

Take care all, and, goodnight...